I used to think that in order to connect with certain people you had to be relevant to them in some way. Find something that you have in common and play off of it in conversation. Look like them. Talk like them. Be like them.
In speaking with someone about the topic of relevancy, a man once said that while he doesn’t have all the appearances of being relevant, he is relevant in the fact that he is completely comfortable with who he is. A brilliant response I think.
Relevancy is about connection, it is about affinity. What this man realized is that people are most comfortable being around a non anxious presence. Worrying about having all the right clothes and simply having the right look would just bring anxiety and second-guessing…and people generally do not want to be around that kind of presence. People don’t have to be just like you in order for you to connect with them. No, the greater attraction is to be around someone who is confident. Not someone who is cocky, but one who is completely comfortable in their own skin.
Go ahead, be who you are. People don’t want to be around a different version of themselves.